Dave Graney

Dave Graney is an author and an ARIA award winning musician.  He also has a deep love for all things footy.  He shares some time with Dazza to tackle some of life's most pressing questions . . .

1. What is the most memorable thing to happen to you while wearing footy shorts?

I loved playing footy when I was a  kid, many, many years ago. Absolutely had the fever for it. The whole weekend was taken up with it. I couldn't sleep on the Friday night and polished my boots and packed my bag. Some of the happiest and most exciting days of my life. 

2. If you were lining up for a goal on the siren, what song would you want played and why?

I wouldn’t hear anything I dont think. 

3. I remember seeing you play at the Punter’s Club several years ago and you gave a long monologue about your time as a football mercenary in Indonesia. Given your footy career, what is the worst half-time entertainment you’ve ever seen?

I was drunk and playing to a room full of dreadlocked idiots in a toilet. The AFL / VFL half time entertainment was always cute and amateurish. I don’t now why they bother. People are there for the football.

4. If you could have a drink with any player past or present who would it be and why?

Probably Brent Croswell. Or Billy Barrott. The latter always seemed a very complex character and was very articulate. Billy Barrott stopped playing far too early. I’d like to know why.

5. If you were on the rules committee how would you incorporate a BBQ into the game?

There would be many other rules before a  BBQ. Games on Saturdays. No interstate teams. Home grounds. 20 man teams. No interchange.

6. Judd, Ablett or Swan?

None of them. Nicky Winmar or Tony Lockett. 

7. What is your favourite pub for a post game beer?

I don't drink. Football fans should all get into marijuana. It’d make them think and realize how much they’re being ripped off. 

8. Your song “Robert Ford” is my favourite song referencing a footballer. What is your favourite footy song?

“Leaps and bounds” by Paul Kelly is pretty good. 

9. Who would you most like to sit next to on a long bus ride – Aka, Ricky Nixon or Steve Milne?

Stephen Milne. He is a Saint. 

10. If you could have any footballer join your backing band, who would it be and why?

None. They are all a  bit slow in the brains and have led far too much of a  pampered life. They never grow up until way after they have left the game. Maybe an ex player would have the humility and the sensitivity for it. Playing music is rough and no AFL player could hack it really.